Opening Up The Envelope
Finding Your Life's Purpose
By Judy Andreas
The Danish philosopher SÝren Kierkegaard wrote that each of us comes to
earth with a sealed envelope containing orders. We must struggle to find the
contents and carry them out. Nobody can do it for us.
It took me many years to perceive the contents of my envelope. And now that
I have I gotten a glimpse, I must admit that it has not simplified my life.
In fact, there are days when I've yearned to rip it up and toss the pieces
in a fire. There are times when I have longed to find a secluded beach and
OM myself into an alternate reality. I have nostalgically mused upon those
halcyon days when I stumbled blindly through my life, feasting on the bliss
of ignorance. And yet, there is no turning back. Though I still walk into an
occasional wall (more than occasionally) my dharma continues to become
clearer. There is no whining "leave me alone, let me linger in my comfort
zone for just awhile longer." There is no wrestling with awareness.
Dharma is a Sanskrit word that has varied meanings, depending on the context
in which it is used. When I use the word, I am using it at its most expanded
meaning. One must be true to ones essential Divine nature. This means acting
in the spirit of harmony and unity with all things. We are all part of an
indivisible whole. Everything has its own individual expression, its own
purpose, its own role to play. And yet, everything has its own
responsibility and that responsibility is to live in harmony with the whole.
To this, I consecrate my life. That is only a small peek into the envelope
which I carry around with me.
The still small voice whispers in my ear reminding me that on the day when
the breath I breathe is my last, I do not want to be ruminating about missed
opportunities. I do not want to know that I could have made the world a
slightly better place but I was too busy embracing fear and cowardice.
September 11, 2001 was a day that catapulted me into a sense of reality from
which there is no retreat. And, on that dreadful day, the burden of
responsibility fell not only on the perpetrators of this heinous event, but
on all of us. We were suddenly called upon to open our eyes, to question all
that we heard and saw, to WAKE UP. Though the event was beyond jarring and
it was too easy to let the mainstream media lackeys of our government tell
us what to think, you did not need 20/20 eyesight to recognize a story
filled with anomalies. You did not need a soaring I.Q. to figure out that we
were being lied to. You merely had to move away from your sitcom du jour and
begin your hero's journey in pursuit of the truth. It sounds so simple and
yet, in reality, it is can be dauntingly difficult.
The task grows more complex with each passing day. My pursuit has led me far
from the myths of my childhood. My journey has involved saying goodbye to
old friends and embracing new ones. I have realized the necessity of leaving
the religion of my parents far behind me among the pages of my earliest
scrapbooks, and, in addition, placing all religions on the page of my past.
I have left friends who, in their own confusion about my pursuits, were
reduced to hurling invective. I sadly moved on. But, worst of all, my
journey has included betrayal of a magnitude I still struggle to comprehend.
I have learned that trust in another can be easily misplaced and I must
struggle to remain free from bitterness. I wonder if these are the indelible
scars that I must learn to live with and embrace. For ultimately, I am only
responsible for my own behavior and cannot blame those who are floundering
in a sea of lies and psychic turmoil.
Are we on the brink of self-annihilation? Is this, indeed, the eve of
destruction? Has the window of opportunity closed on our freshly manicured
nails? Should we be content to watch the "big game" on television and ignore
the even bigger game of life? Many would say "yes."
So, what is your choice? Are you going to pull yourself away from the
television? I'll tell you a secret. There is a larger and more compelling
show in three dimensional reality and you have a starring role. What part
are you going to play?
If you should chose to enter into your life fully and dynamically, be
advised that there is a caveat. Once your feet are firmly planted on that
road, it is difficult, if not impossible, to turn back. Your journey may
take you through nightmares that rival your worst childhood dreams. Your
world may flip over on its axis as heroes become villains and decadence and
evil go beyond the grotesque. Your trip may call upon you to be scrupulously
honest. You may have to grapple with loving the unlovable.
Life is a series of choices and they are ours alone to make. Do not listen
to the chorus of naysayers. Do not allow people to tell you that you are a
conspiracy nut or ask you why you are wasting your time. Recall the words of
Aristotle who said:
"The high minded man must care more for the truth than for what people
Rest in the awareness that you are spending, not wasting, your time and,
perhaps, you are doing it in the noblest way possible. For, when stripped of
all our toys, all we have is our truth and, on that day when we leave this
physical world, it might be the only thing that we take with us.
As you progress on your journey, your pursuit can easily become your raison
d'Ítre. Your quest can easily become more important than life itself. You
may even begin to think that it is life itself. And, you may be 100%
"When I tell the truth, it is not for the sake of convincing those who do
not know it, but for the sake of defending those that do." William Blake
"As long as people believe in absurdities, they will continue to commit
Copyright 2005: Judy Andreas